Insecurity

By Gonzalo López Martí    – Creative director, etc./LMMiami.com

A surprisingly large amount of followers of my weekly marketing & advertising manic musings keep asking me about that friend of mine I wrote about a few columns back who’s depressed because soccer moms are driving Porsches and Teslas.

So what car did he end up buying?

If you don’t know who or what I’m talking about, lemme give you some specifics: I have a friend (a guy) who’s shopping for a new car and is desperately looking for a make and model a woman would never be seen driving.

😡

Dude is in despair because he claims there’re no manly cars left to choose from.

:-O

So I met with him over drinks and, making 100% sure that he was totally unaware of the fact that he was being subjected to a one-man focus group, I further piqued his mind about his conundrum and his desperate search for an “unwomanly” set of wheels.

Remember that this dude is a prestigious marketing professional so he evaluates his options and his courses of action almost scientifically, to wit:

1. spending north of $250k on a Ferrari, Aston Martin or Lambo (no room for the kids, his wife would slaughter him with a lacrosse stick)
2. buying a six-wheeler customized monster pick-up truck (plenty roomy but off the table too since he’d be regarded as a gas-guzzling inbred by his chichi white collar suburban neighbors and coworkers)
3. Uber &/or Lyft (cheap, efficient, can ride while texting, inebriated or asleep, no need to find parking or pay insurance, impersonal, boring)

So the jury is still out about the vehicle.

Our conversation slowly veered off from automotive inventories and into the reason why cosmetic companies and plastic surgeons make millions.

The reason why lululemon is giving Nike a run for its money selling suspiciously tight & booty-shaping yoga attire.

The reason why middle aged dentists shell out 30 large on a Harley Davidson Road King they’ll only ride to go to Walgreens on Sundays.
In springtime.

Emotional insecurity.

Self-doubt.

The oldest human trait exploited by marketing.

The fear of not being attractive enough, successful enough, safe enough, healthy enough, young enough.

The reason why people obsessively curate the most insignificant details of their lifestyles and personal brands.

Another example?

As a higher up with a pretty big CPG marketer, my aforementioned friend hires and fires people frequently.

He confessed to me that, when he receives a resume, he pays special attention to the candidate’s email address under the logic that those who use

Yahoo or Hotmail for personal correspondence are possibly older and innovation-averse.

His advice?

Switch to a Gmail account immediately.