Universal unemployment? Your check is in the mail

By Gonzalo López Martí / Creative director, etc / LMMiami.com

• Robots will take away our jobs.
• Robots, self-driving vehicles and aircraft, 3D printers, algorithms.
• We can run but we can’t hide.
• It already happened to bank tellers and most industrial semi-skilled labor.
• Unemployment is coming the way of truck drivers, Uber drivers, doctors, surgeons, CPAs, CEOs too.
• Particularly CEOs.
• The military?
• There’re drones for that.
• Remotely piloted by the aptly named “Chair Force”: a dark room somewhere in the Arizona desert, full of chubby dudes bombing ISIS while they eat Quiznos subs.
• These guys will lose their jobs too.
• The almighty algorithm.
• Artificial intelligence.
• Pretty soon a vast majority of the workforce as we know it will be shown the door by R2D2.
• Even sex workers will be put out of business by virtual and augmented reality.
• Speaking of which, advertising creatives certainly will suffer this fate too.
• How long until some app starts writing the silly puns and lame self-help mumbo jumbo ve’ve been known for for generations?
• There’s software already with the ability to write stock trading reports and sports news that read 100% penned by a human being.
• In short, universal unemployment is coming.
• This is the reason why a lot of experts in the field of economic policy are advocating for universal unemployment benefits.
• Yes, a living stipend for everyone.
• A salary simply for being a living, breathing human being.
• Redistribution of wealth, the good old pinko taboo.
• Or is it a conservative taboo?
• Well, you catch my drift.
• The welfare state run amok.
• Deal with it.
• D’you have a better idea?
• What would YOU do if millions, billions, of people, even highly educated individuals, were unable to find a job?
• Euthanize them?
• A lot of left wing and, surprisingly, quite a few conservative policy wonks as well believe that sooner rather than later the world’s governments will need to pass laws with the aforementioned so-called “distributist” logic in mind.
• Pope Francis looooves the idea.
• Ayn Rand is pro’bly rolling in her grave.
• The end of capitalism as we know it.
• Well, not really.
• Think of it.
• To judge by past human behavior, the idler people become the more stuff they will consume.
• Hooray.
• That’s precisely what we marketing & advertising pros do: sell unnecessary crap to clueless decadent folks.
• Imagine a world populated by aimless lazy people with disposable income to burn.
• Imagine the industrial amounts of crap they will need to buy to fill the existential void in their miserable lives.
• Shopping therapy taken to 11.
• A runaway gravy train.
• Marketing & advertising would be vital in such a society.
• There’s a catch though.
• An ironclad paradox.
• Advertising might have a bright future ahead of it but advertising professionals will still be sacked.
• Sooner rather than later, our lines of business will be automatized.
• Unmanned.
• And unwomanned.
• You probably heard the story about that dialogue, possibly apocryphal, between Henry Ford II and the leader of the automobile workers union, Walter Reuther.
• The two men were visiting a plant and checking out at some new robotic equipment put in place to automatize Ford’s assembly line.
• Henry Ford II: Walter, how are you going to get those robots to pay your union dues?
• Walter Reuther: Henry, how are you going to get them to buy your cars?
• Ouch.
• To be continued next week.