10 more reasons why we #Latinos are the original #Millennials – Part 3

By Gonzalo López Martí / LMMIAMI.COM

Back by popular demand and with some contributions by peers & colleagues.

D’you miss reasons 1 through 10 & 11 through 20?

Check them out here:

10 reasons why we #Latinos are the original #Millennials –  Part 1

Another 10 reasons why we #Latinos are the original #Millennials –  Part 2

21)   We are the ultimate environmentalists, to such an extent that we pretty much do all the organic handpicking farm work in America. Plus all the landscaping as well.
22)   We are utterly unable to focus: we have the attention span of a gold fish.
23)   We’re unable –or unwilling- to follow orders or instructions.
24)   We are the masters of the oh-so-Millennial art of passive disobedience. We rarely are overly assertive and will never confront you though: we will brush you off with the utmost politesse. “Ahorita” might either mean “don’t hold your breath” or simply “fuck off”. “Mañana” is just a sugarcoated way of telling someone to “keep dreaming” or “get out of my face”. If you pull rank on us you will get your due sooner or later.
25)   We can’t –or won’t, or refuse to- follow a straight line. Let alone wait in one.
26)   We can’t –or won’t, or simply refuse to- color within the lines.
 27)   We are collaborative by nature, particularly come time to circle the wagons and mutually cover our rear ends. Mess with us and sooner or later you’ll have it coming.
28)   We profess a blind faith in science and its byproducts which, oddly enough, is only comparable to our belief in the esoteric & the occult: we swear by Novartis, Merck, GlaxoSmithKline and Pfizer as much as we do by La Virgen de Guadalupe, la Virgen de la Caridad, San Lázaro, Changó, San La Muerte, Shamanism, Budhism and el Chupacabras. Our homes have plenty cabinets and altars devoted to all of the above.
29)   We are God’s gift to the pharmaceutical industry. Big pharma loves us for the sheer way we line their pockets through happy-go-lucky self medicating habits, reckless cholesterol & sugar consumption and that inescapable tendency to contract diabetes. Big pharma execs regard us Hispanics –just like they do Millennials- as the gift that’ll never stop giving.
30)   We’re accomplished multitaskers: we simultaneaously text, tweet, instagram, put make up on, help our kids with their homework and fix their lunchboxes. While driving.