How to Find and Keep Mentors Throughout Your Career – Your Success Depends on Getting this Right.

Today, I’m an executive recruiter and mentor to our corporate clients and candidates changing positions, and reinvigorating their careers. Young people I’ve mentored have gone on to become Sales Athletes and CEOs who have gone on to refer us to important clients. I am reminded daily of the value of seeking help from people who know more than you know whenever you set out on an endeavor.

One day, very early in my career in media advertising sales, I was riding the elevator between the floors of the great agency, Ogilvy & Mather, when the door opened and there I saw Malcolm Forbes, founder of Forbes magazine. When he nodded a polite, “Hello,” I blurted out, “Mr. Forbes! My name is Kathy Aaronson, and I’m selling advertising for Cosmopolitan magazine. What’s the secret to success in advertising sales?” I was quaking like a leaf.

“You have to believe in what you are selling,” he said and handed me his business card as the elevator door closed. Later, I gathered all my courage to call him for advice, and from the moment he took my call, I was devoted to this great man. He was a great mentor to young people in advertising, and I know he enjoyed sharing his knowledge.

In helping companies identify high performance talent and support candidates in transition to new careers, a cornerstone of our practice at The Sales Athlete, Inc. has been to help talented people establish relationships with mentors.

How to Find a Mentor

If you are sincere, focused, and willing to give back something extra as you search for a mentor, you’ll find that most people are kind enough to be willing to help you reach your goals. If you fear taking the first step toward seeking a mentor, remember that mentoring is a two-way street. In asking for help, you must be willing to give back to your mentor at every opportunity, both in the appreciation you express and in the information, contacts, or assistance you can provide as you grow in your career.

Reach Out in Writing

You can start with a simple letter:

Dear Director / President of a media company or (whatever career arena that fits your dream):

I’m in the process of a career change/graduating from XYZ University, and in order to succeed with this endeavor, I need to connect with someone who has been successful in (this endeavor). Would you be kind enough to spend a few minutes with me? I can visit you at your office or speak with you over the telephone. In return for your guidance, I will look for all the big and little ways I can say “Thank You” throughout my career, because you will have helped me during the most difficult time – when I was getting started.
Sincerely,…….

Attend Networking Meetings

Go to the association or networking meeting with people with whom you’d like to work. Take your business cards. Wear a smile, and be positive, friendly, and clear that you’re there because you want to meet people who are doing what you want to do. Say honestly that you’re hoping one of them will be kind enough to spend a few minutes with you for guidance. You’d be surprised how willing people are to assist you. The most powerful word in the English language is: “Help!” Don’t be afraid to ask for it.

Assist at Work

Offering to help is another way to find a mentor. The question “How can I help you?” can open doors. If you see your manager beleaguered, ask if you can do anything to help. Even if they push you back on the first attempt you’ve created a building block for a good relationship by establishing yourself as a person who is eager to help and learn.

Volunteer

Go to the association meeting of the industry with which you’d like to associate, and offer to volunteer, even in menial tasks. Explain that you’d love to work in the industry and want to learn through assisting. What does this accomplish? It puts you right in the arena where prospecting employers can see you and form positive impressions of who you are, and it puts you in the presence of potential mentors.

Rent a Mentor

You can also rent a mentor by hiring a professional career coach or by offering to pay for the time of an expert in the area where you need career development, personal polish, or relationship skills.

Follow Role Models

If you have in mind a high-profile person whom you dream of as a mentor but who won’t or can’t give you any time, you can still follow his or her example by reading articles, speeches, or profiles. Do some internet research, and collect the wisdom of people who are experts in the field you want to master. Make a file of written materials that provide helpful examples of how others have succeeded, and refer to it whenever you feel the need for inspiration.

Often a role model might be willing to talk to you at lunch or on the phone once or twice, but not to enter into a long-term mentoring relationship. Don’t take it personally, and be grateful and appreciative of any time given.

The characteristics of a good mentor are:

o Has a track record of success and more experience than you do in the area in which you need mentoring.
o Is willing to listen and actually hear what you are saying.
o Has no blind spot when it comes to you, and is willing to give you unvarnished, truthful perceptions and advice about what steps you must take to reach your goals.
o Is kind and caring but will not do your work for you.
o Expects you to follow up on any advice given, even if you decide for some reason not to take it.
o Gives you a deadline for your step-by-step plan, and stays in touch along the way to see that you’ve taken those steps.
o Is patient with the process of your growth.
o Recognizes that the hardest part of anything is getting started, and challenges you to take the steps you need to take to get your progress under way.
o Has faith in you, and lets you know he or she believes in you.

When you seek help from someone more experienced than you, be willing to truly listen to what he or she says, even if it’s not exactly what you’d hoped to hear.

A few years ago, for example, a man drove to my office in a Rolls Royce – one that was in such need of repair that we could hear it clanking and sputtering a block away. The man had once been flying high as a top executive in an industry that was dying due to a combination of changes in tax laws, regulations, and the economy. He’d been out of work for more than a year and hiding the fact by persisting in living the life of a millionaire, driving a car he could not afford to repair, and avoiding close contact with anyone from his old life. He wanted me to find him a position as president of a company in the same industry he’d left, earning the same amount of money he once earned, even though the industry he came from really no longer existed.

I told him what he did not want to hear: He needed to remanufacture himself. After his anger subsided, he took his first step and followed my advice by calling all his friends and asking them for leads on any kind of project work that would get him both involved with people and out in the business world. One of his friends happened to be a lawyer who needed someone as smart as he was but was willing to pay him only an hourly rate plus commissions to collect the settlements reached by the law firm for his clients. By taking this job that was far “beneath” anything he’d considered when walking into my office, the man in the Rolls not only got himself back on his feet financially, but also went on to a successful new career in a related field.

How to Keep a Mentor

o Do your homework. Don’t ask for someone’s valuable time until you’ve learned everything you can about that person and the work he or she does. If your prospective mentor has written articles or given speeches about the topic you’re interested in, read them before you ask questions.
o Send along information or news that might be helpful to your mentor.
o Defend the good name of your mentor. If anything negative is ever said about your mentor, point out how helpful the mentor has been to you.
o Always look for the big and little ways to say “thank you.”
o Recognize and acknowledge the critical role played by the mentor in every step of your success.

Top performers recognize that if they don’t have mentors, they will stay at the same level in their career. The people above you are the ones who help you move to their level. So if you are not happy standing still, move forward by finding, following, appreciating, and giving back to your mentors.

If I could only give one piece of advice about how to reach your goal, this is it: Seek the help of the people who know more than you know whenever you set out on a new endeavor – and don’t forget to say “thank you.”

By Kathy Aaronson

About your writer:

Kathy Aaronson, CEO of The Sales Athlete, Inc. a premier executive search firm specializing in media sales, marketing and management. She is the author of Selling on the Fast Track (Putnam), The Golden Apple (Wiley & Son), and Kathy Aaronson’s Guide to Compensation Negotiation (SW7, Ltd.). Clients include: La Opinion, El Diario, La Raza, La Prensa, and Impre.com.
Kathy welcomes your questions at Ka***@**********te.com.