Why Many Parents and Teens Think It’s Harder Being a Teen Today
August 30, 2024
Michelle FaverioJeffrey GottfriedKaitlyn Radde
Why parents say it’s harder being a teen today
There are big debates about how teenagers are faring these days. And technology’s impact is often at the center of these conversations.
Prominent figures, including the U.S. Surgeon General, have been vocal about the harmful effects technology may be having on young people.
These concerns ring true for the parents in our survey. A majority blame technology – and especially social media – for making teen life more difficult.
Among parents who say it’s harder being a teen today, about two-thirds cite technology in some way. This includes 41% who specifically name social media.
While some mention social media in broad terms, others bring up specific experiences that teens may have on these platforms, such as feeling pressure to act or look a certain way or having negative interactions there. Parents also call out the downsides of being constantly connected through social media.
“Social media is a scourge for society, especially for teens. They can’t escape social pressures and are constantly bombarded by images and content that makes them feel insecure and less than perfect, which creates undue stress that they can’t escape.”
FATHER, 40s
“Kids are being told what to think and how to feel based on social media.”
MOTHER, 40s
Parents name other forms of technology, but at much lower rates. Roughly one-in-ten parents who think being a teen is harder today specifically say the internet (11%) or smartphones (7%) contribute to this.
“Teens are online and they are going to encounter everything offered – positive and negative. Unfortunately, the negative can do major damage, as in cyberbullying, for example.”
MOTHER, 30s
Another 26% say technology in general or some other specific type of technology (e.g., video games or television) make teens’ lives harder today.
“Technology has changed the way people communicate. I can see how kids feel very isolated.”
FATHER, 40s
Parents also raise a range of reasons that do not specifically reference technology, with two that stand out: more pressures placed on teens and the country or world being worse off than in the past. Among parents who think it’s harder to be a teen today, 16% say it’s because of the pressures and expectations young people face. These include teens feeling like they have to look or act a certain way or perform at a certain level.
“The competition is more fierce in sports and academics and the bar seems to be higher. Everything is more over-the-top for social activities too. It’s not simple as it was.”
MOTHER, 50s
A similar share (15%) says teen life is harder because the country or world has changed in a bad way, whether due to political issues or to shifts in morals and values.
“Now it is more difficult to instill values, principles, good customs and good behavior, since many bad vices are seen in some schools and public places.”
MOTHER, 50s
Other reasons that do not mention technology are less common. For example, roughly one-in-ten of these parents or fewer mention violence and drugs, bullying, and exposure to bad influences.
Why parents say it’s easier being a teen today
Teens today have a seemingly endless choice of technologies at their disposal, whether it be smartphones, video games or generative AI. And while relatively few parents say teen’s lives are easier today, those who do largely point to technology.
Among parents who say it is easier being a teen today, roughly six-in-ten mention technology as a reason.
Some reference a specific type of technology, like the internet (14%). Another 8% cite smartphones, and 3% cite social media.
“Although the internet can be toxic, it also opens up so many avenues for connection, learning and engagement.”
MOTHER, 50s
“We didn’t have smartphones when I was a teenager. Nowadays, teenagers have all the answers in the palm of their hand.”
FATHER, 40s
A fair portion (47%) mention technology broadly or name another specific type of technology.
“Technology has improved exponentially, giving access to the whole world at your fingertips.”
FATHER, 30s
Some other reasons that emerge do not mention technology specifically. For instance, 18% of parents who say it’s easier being a teen today think this is because there are fewer pressures and expectations on teenagers than in the past.
“Teens today have been shown more leniency; they barely hold themselves responsible.”
MOTHER, 40s
And one-in-ten say it’s easier because teens have access to more resources and information.
“When I was a teen, I had to carry so many books and binders everywhere while my daughter can just have her school laptop. She can complete research easily with internet access on her school device.”
MOTHER, 30s
Why teens say it’s harder being a teen today
Most teens use social media, and some do so almost constantly. But they also see these sites as a reason teens’ lives are harder today than 20 years ago.
In addition, teens point to the pressures and expectations that are placed on them.
Among teens who say it’s harder to be a teenager today than in the past, roughly four-in-ten mention technology as a reason. This includes a quarter who specifically name social media. Some mention these sites broadly; others link them to harmful experiences like increased pressures to look a certain way or negative interactions with others.
“Social media tells kids what to do and say. And if you aren’t up on it, you look like the fool and become like an outcast from lots of people.”
TEEN GIRL
“Social media was not a part of my parents’ teenage lives and I feel that they did not have to ‘curate’ themselves and be a certain way in order to fit [in] as it is today.”
TEEN GIRL
Few specifically mention the internet (6%) or smartphones (3%) as reasons. About one-in-ten (11%) cite technology broadly or another type of technology.
“For one thing, my phone is a huge distraction. It takes up so much of my time just looking at stuff that doesn’t even mean anything to me.”
TEEN GIRL
Teens name several reasons that do not specifically mention technology – most prominently, the increased pressures and expectations placed on them. Roughly three-in-ten of those who say teen life is harder today (31%) say it’s because of these pressures and expectations.
“We have so much more homework and pressure from other kids. We are always being looked at by everyone. We can’t escape.”
TEEN GIRL
“Adults expect too much from us. We need to get good grades, do extracurricular activities, have a social life, and work part time – all at the same time.”
TEEN BOY
Another 15% say it’s harder because the world is worse off today, due to such things as political issues, values being different or the country having declined in some way.
“Teenagers are less able to afford vehicles, rent, etc. and basic living necessities, and are therefore not able to move out for years after they graduate high school and even college.”
TEEN BOY
Other reasons that don’t mention technology – including violence and drugs, bullying, and mental health problems – are named by 8% of these teens or fewer.
Why teens say it’s easier being a teen today
Teens also see ways that technology makes life better, whether that’s helping them pursue hobbies, express their creativity or build skills. Overall, few think teens’ lives are easier today than 20 years ago, but those who do largely say technology is a reason.
Six-in-ten teens who say teen life is easier today reference technology in some way. This includes 14% who mention the internet and 12% who mention phones. Just 3% name social media.
“[Teens 20 years ago] didn’t have internet available anywhere and they also didn’t have smartphones to be able to use whenever needed.”
TEEN BOY
This also includes 46% who reference technology in general or some other specific type of technology.
“Tech has made it easier to connect with friends.”
TEEN BOY
These teens also name reasons that don’t specifically mention technology, including 14% who say life is easier because there are fewer pressures and expectations for people their age.
“Twenty years ago there was probably more pressure to become an adult sooner and get things like a job, a learner’s permit, etc.”
TEEN GIRL
And a same share says having more resources available to them has made life easier.
“Nowadays, we have help to deal with your physical and mental well-being, and we have specialists/therapists that we can talk to about our feelings and emotions.”
TEEN GIRL
Smaller shares say it’s due to the country and world being better off today (4%) or people being nicer to each other (3%).
How parents and teens compare
Parents and teens are mostly in agreement on what makes growing up today harder than in the past.
But the rate at which they cite certain factors like social media or facing pressures differ.
Among those who say being a teen today is harder, 65% of parents believe it’s because of technology in some way. This drops to 39% among teens.
This divide also stands out when it comes to social media specifically (41% vs. 25%).
Teens, on the other hand, are more likely than parents to describe issues related to overachieving or having to look a certain way. Among those who say teen life is harder today, 31% of teens cite pressures and expectations as a reason, compared with 16% of parents.
Still, there are areas in which parents and teens are in sync. For example, similar shares cite the country or world being worse today (15% each) and violence and drugs (8% each) as reasons life today for teens is harder.
And among those who say being a teen today is easier, roughly six-in-ten parents (59%) and teens (60%) mention technology in some way.
